Why I love Bill Oddie

For those of you who don’t know who Bill Oddie is (which should be no one). He’s a television presenter, author, actor, comedian, artist, naturalist and musician. And I absolutely bloody love him.

Now I could easily give you the list above as the reasons for my love of Bill Oddie. But that would be too easy and to be honest, it wouldn’t do my passion for him justice. So in this note i’m gonna’ explain my love for him. And i’m sure by the end of it, you will also love Bill Oddie. And if you don’t then i’m pretty sure you’re a nazi.

1. Hes batshit crazy -
Now if you thought I meant he’s crazy as in he stays up till the early parts of the morning outside with nothing more than a body warmer on (see reason 6) to watch some obscure bird fly for about two seconds, then you’re partially right. Because that is a little crazy, seeming as probaly only about three other people in the entire world have even heard of an Eurasian Stone-Curlew. But he’s also crazy in the sense of “Oh my god, he’s eating his own faeces. He’s crazy”. Well alright, he’s not that crazy. But he has suffered from depression since an early age, and was diagnosed in 2001. Which makes me respect him.

2. He loves eggs -
Before he moved on to bird-watching, Bill used to collect eggs. When it was legal. But I reckon cos’ he’s a bit mental he still does it anyway. And just to make it funnier, I’ve heard he eats the really endangered ones.

3. He’s pretty funny –
As I said before, he’s also a comedian. I saw him on Never Mind The Buzzcocks once and he was well funny. He even made a joke about a bird. Classic Bill.

4. He loves birds –
Now if you think I’m talking about birds, as in the animals then you’re partially right (you’re getting good at this). As he flipping loves those winged creatures. Not only has he wrote seven books with the word Bird in the title. But also a further seven Television programmes with bird in also. And thats not even counting Spring or Autumnwatch. But he also loves the women. A man as attractive and talented as Bill can obviously do what he wants. Which is why he married twice and made babies with both his wives. And I’ve got it on a pretty reliable source that he smashed in a load of women before he got married as well.

5. He’s like Beethoven but better –
Oddie can play the saxophone, drums, guitar, banjo, mandolin and piano. He’s a bloody legend.

6. He’s a fashion guru –
He always wears a body warmer, which is really cool. And he always carries binoculars with him just in case he spots a bird he likes the look of. And shes getting changed.

Basically, two things are clear. Bill Oddie goes apeshit for birds. And we go apeshit for him.

We Live In Public

This is a post about Facebook. We’ve all got one, and we all check them about three times a day. So why shouldn’t I make my first blog about it? Yeah, didn’t think you could give me a reason. So here I go.

Facebook is a thing of many wonders. We can contact our old school friends we’d never thought we’d talk to again, we can invite people to events without the nuisance of a phone call or a visit and we can even have a game of scrabble with our best friends without leaving the comfort of our chairs. But what Facebook also allows is our so called “friends” who we never even actually talk to, to watch and admire every single action we take. Whats that? You’ve got a new haircut. Ohh, feeling hungry? I never, you’re behind on coursework? Not only do we tell each other our feelings at a particular moment in our statuses for all to see, but we also have the ability to spy in on another persons conversation who for one reason or another, has not yet realised we can all read what you’re saying and it’s not confidential. So, maybe try telling your best friend about your STD in a message, otherwise we’re all gonna know, and hate you more than we already do. For all the people who can’t seem to grasp that a secret is no longer a secret when it’s broadcasted on Facebook, I salute and thank you. For you make my world a little more exciting. My tone may sound a little condescending or sarcastic but I assure you it’s not. The amount of time I’ve picked up the goss from Facebook is mental. If you think I’ve added you and not spoken to you, don’t worry I’m still reading you’re conversations with my other friends. And don’t worry, you can do it to me too. I don’t mind, because everything thats wrote on here can be viewed by another friend and I’m well aware of it, in fact I rather quite like it.

I enjoy living in our very own stalkers paradise.